


All About…Lancelot (A Lancelot Character Study)

by China_Rose



Series: Knight Character Studies [2]
Category: King Arthur (2004)
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-24
Updated: 2013-06-24
Packaged: 2017-12-16 00:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/855916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/China_Rose/pseuds/China_Rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lancelot reveals his inner thoughts</p>
            </blockquote>





	All About…Lancelot (A Lancelot Character Study)

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N 1:** The Knight Character Studies were written for a writing challenge on the King Arthur Fan Fiction Group. This is a companion piece to my _All About…Tristan_ survey. You don't have to read it to understand this one but why not read it anyhow and see what Tristan has to say too.  
>  **A/N 2:** Once again, may I remind my readers that I absolutely adore Tristan and any attacks upon Tristan’s character were all Lancelot’s fault! 
> 
> **Beta:** Thanks to my beta, Thoks, for taking the time to look at this. It’s good to have you back and working your magic on my stories.  
>  **Reviews and Comments:** Always welcome  
>  **Disclaimer:** No money involved here at all. Believe me if I could make money from writing I wouldn’t be writing fan fic.

[](http://photobucket.com)  
Banner by China Rose

**A Lancelot Character Study**

**NAME:** Lancelot. That’s **L.A.N.C.E.L.O.T.** I’m sorry, what did you say? You thought my name was _Lance-whinge-a-lot_? No! Where did you hear that? Oh let me guess! Why that “bird loving, _which way did they go?_ Can’t-see-because-of-the-hair-in-my-eyes-and-can’t-speak-properly-there’s-an-apple-permanently-stuck-in-my-mouth” scout, _Twistan_...and for the record he is not important. He ranks as high as… what? Oh sorry, yes of course I’ll speak to him later about my issues. No, I don’t harbour ill feelings towards him. Why would you think I don’t like him? Oh, because I called him _Twistan_. Of course, forgive me if I have given you the wrong impression. I will speak to _Sir Twistan_ later. Now, next question? *smug smile*

 **LIVING ARRANGEMENTS:** Not quite what I would have preferred but adequate. It’s a little draughty at times but I am on the road a lot and the draught is the least of my worries then. Still I am a warrior and warriors don’t complain about their living conditions. …but I do wish I had a larger bed. It’s most inconvenient entertaining with such a narrow bed. Do I entertain much? Well when you have finished your surveys come visit and let me entertain you my Lady. Oh you’re not interested because I have a narrow bed *rolls eyes* I rest my case. Yes by all means next question?

 **FAVORITE PASTIME:** Sacrificing goats, drinking their blood and dancing naked around the fire; it’s a Sarmatian tradition. 

**FAVORITE BOOK:** _When I Rule the World_ by I. M. Incharge

 **THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS:** Teasing Twistan.

 **THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS:** Watching _my_ Arthur with _that_ woman.

 **FAVORITE SMELLS:** Fried falcon.

 **WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING:** 99, 100 change hands!!!!

 **BATTLE: SCARY OR EXCITING:** Oh definitely exciting. It’s exhilarating. I love the intensity and savagery of it and the ultimate bloody victory over a less worthy opponent. I will die in battle you know, of that I am certain. And my Arthur has assured me that I won’t be buried in that sad little cemetery out there. Instead he will burn me and cast my ashes on a strong east wind that will blow me home to Sarmatia. Sorry, what did you just say? An east wind doesn’t blow eastward! Well where does it blow? What? East refers to where it came _from_ , not where it’s going. Well it just doesn’t sound as dramatic if I say cast my ashes on a strong west wind. So where will I end up on an east wind? Really? An east wind would blow me to the edge of the world and into the bottomless abyss. Oh by the gods, I really need a drink and I must tell Arthur at once to cast my ashes on a west wind. What? Sit down. Why? I have to tell him now! Oh right I’m not dead yet. Yes I suppose you are right, there’s no immediate hurry then.

 **FAVORITE FOODS:** Roasted game birds.

 **CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA:** At a push chocolate but never vanilla. I really do prefer something with a little more _oomph_ , if you catch my meaning *wink* I’m sorry; no I wasn’t winking at you. I was just…something in my eye I think…next question? 

**STORMS, COOL OR SCARY:** I don’t scare easily and storms cease to hold any power over me now that I am a man. During a bad storm I prefer to hunker down under a blanket and wait for it to blow over. To be candid, it is always better to be under that blanket with a special friend and then you don’t even notice the weather.

 **FAVORITE DRINK:** Whatever my Arthur offers me *wink*

 **IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE:** Rome wouldn’t be an Empire and I wouldn’t be here on this soggy little piece of land that’s filled with Woad raiders, Saxon invaders and a lot of rain. What’s that? That’s what Tristan said… _bollocks_ we think nothing alike! I hate this place more than him, so there! *pout*

 **IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE:** That my beard wouldn’t keep turning red, it’s awfully frustrating…I prefer black beards or a bit of stubble or clean shaven…sorry I was distracted. Next question please?

 **HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE:** Yes…details? Ah, I don’t think so; Arthur would be furious if I told!

 **IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL:** As a realist, I believe that the glass is just a glass. I neither view its contents in a positive or negative light and I either drink the wine or refill the contents depending on how thirsty I am.

 **WHAT'S IN YOUR ANXIETY CLOSET:** Having to fight with one sword. I’ve been ambidextrous for so long I don’t think I could do it one handed any more. _He thinks about when he first wakes up in the morning_

 **WHAT'S YOUR LOFTIEST DREAM:** Conquering Rome and making Sarmatia the centre of the civilised an uncivilised world.

 **WHAT'S YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE:** Tristan will be one of my minister’s and _that_ bird will fly off my plate!!!!

 **WHAT DO YOU WISH PEOPLE KNEW ABOUT YOU THAT YOU FEEL THEY DON'T:** Under my tough façade, I’m really a **SNACK**. That’s a _Sensitive New Age Charismatic Knight_ in case you weren’t sure.

 **WHAT OTHER KING ARTHUR CHARACTER WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ANSWER THIS QUESTIONNAIRE:** Most definitely Arthur. He’s my _special_ friend and I would like to know what he really thinks about everything and about…well everything!

**The End**


End file.
